“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today and make a new ending”- says Maria Robinson. Self esteem has little to do with your innate aptitudes and flairs and more to do with how you think about yourself. Sentiments of negativity and failure might stem from unfortunate circumstances or disappointments that make you blame yourself for their incidence.
Self esteem plays a vital role in your triumph and yet many women struggle to acquire it. If you believe you have hit the glass ceiling and feel the familiar tingles of vulnerability, here’s how you can boost your self esteem and start loving yourself:
1) Stop Criticizing Yourself
Self esteem is your inner voice; telling you what you can or can’t do. It is aligned with your perception of who you think you are. Your inner voice might spur up disparaging thoughts in your mind, such as “This is too hard, I can’t do this” or “I am uglier than my friend” or perhaps “I don’t deserve better” and make you doubt the reason for your existence.
By dwelling on self flagellation, you distort your take in life and employ self-deprecating humor to undervalue yourself. Most women resort to jumping to conclusions without any factual evidence to back it, such as, “my friend hasn’t replied to me, I must have done something to tip her off”.
Vigilantly look out for pessimistic self appraisal and curb negative thoughts before they take root. Catch yourself in the act and instantly find examples to contradict yourself. You are special and wonderful in your own way. The key is to overcome the negative image you have built for you, and replace it with a self-confident content woman who loves everything about her, including her beautiful imperfections.
2) Ditch The Perfectionist In You
Perfectionism might be your greatest hamartia. Forgo the “all or nothing” approach to life! If you find yourself thinking “if I don’t succeed in it, I’m a total failure”, you are being a little too harsh on yourself. It paralyzes you from trying something lest you don’t live up to your own standards and ultimately the habitual procrastination and hesitation plummets your motivation to take action.
One achievement or disappointment doesn’t define you and doesn’t make you useless. When reality clashes with high expectations, disastrous heartbreaks ensue. Force yourself in to realism. Realize that sometimes, good enough is sometimes the finishing line and reach for it. Break down everything that you do and give yourself points for each individual element instead of the whole picture. The meal might have been a disaster but give yourself some credits for trying or perhaps how finely you sliced the vegetables.
3) Don’t Fall In To The Comparison Trap
Stop comparing yourself with what other people have and their lives and dwell on improving your own. It is a no win situation as you would always find somebody with more than what you have and the vicious cycle for relentless advancement persists. Focus on your achievements and recognize how far you have made it in life, all by yourself. Stop everything for a split second, and give yourself a moment for appreciation. Be your biggest rival and always be in competition with only yourself. Beat your previous goals and watch your self esteem sore to the horizons.
4) Live Your Life “The Sunny Side Up”
Take the glass half full approach to life and remain optimistic. Know that after every storm comes the quiet. Know that when you step out of your comfort zone and reach for the stars, there will be stumbling blocks and hurdles on the way but also know you would come out triumphant at the end! Take every heart-break, every failure as an opportunity to learn and a viable addition to your pool of wisdom. Hopefully it would avert the next bump down the road!
5) Use Positive Affirmations The Right Way
While people keep telling us to make positive affirmations such as “I am amazing at my job” or “I am going to ace that promotion” our mantras, there is one intrinsic problem with them: they may be extremely popular but they can make people with an already low self-esteem feel worse about themselves. This is because when your self-worth is at an all-time low, such declarations seem too much at odds with your existing beliefs. Ironically, positive affirmations only work for those who have high opinions of themselves already. When your self esteem is
For affirmations to work when your self-esteem is lagging, tweak them to make them more believable. For example, change “I’m going to be a great success!” to “I’m going to persevere until I succeed!”
6) Invest In Your well-being To Boost Your Self Esteem
It’s time to deeply scrutinize your spending patterns and see if you can make some changes. When confronted with a low self-esteem, most people resort to spending money on self-destructive coping mechanisms, such as overindulgence in unhealthy comfort food, video games or apps, and excessive drinking. If you are nodding yes right now, know that these spending habits can be transformed for the better.
By transferring your expenditures from needless indulgences to places where there’s room for self-improvement, you can train your mind to boost your self-esteem. It could be anything like eating healthier, self-improvement courses, yoga classes, or a meditation retreat; you will inevitably feel better about yourself when you spend on things that are beneficial for you.