Do you often feel like your co-workers seem comfortable in your presence or conversation seems to die whenever you enter a room? Have you ever considered the possibility that people may be shying away from you for some reason? You don’t have to be exceptionally good looking, fiercely social or incredibly talented to get people to like you. You may just be doing one or more of these things that are making people dislike you at work.
Don’t we all hate people who like nothing better than to brag about themselves, their job, their new car, and their super-perfect lives behind the mask of self-deprecation? For instance, the girl who makes fun of her petite hands when she really wants to draw attention to the fact that she’s super pretty, or that guy at work who keeps up a light banter about how difficult his diet is, when he really wants you to know how health conscious he is. While such people think that they can get away with bragging by appearing to make fun of themselves, everyone sees right through their act. This makes their bragging all the more frustrating, because now it seems like an attempt to fool others. If you are a sub-conscious humble-bragger, your co-workers and friends are most likely to change their paths when they see you approaching.
Complaining all the Time
We all gripe about work from time to time, but constantly whining in front of your co-workers about how unhappy you are with your circumstances, isn’t going to help anyone. You may feel overworked, you are long due for a promotion, or you feel that your contributions are undermined, but a consistent pattern of negativity can dampen the spirits of those around you and tend to push people away. If you’re consistently unhappy at your job, and you constantly feel anxious, angry, and overlooked at work, it may be time to look for a new one. Identify your biggest complaints, and start looking for other opportunities where those issues won’t be a problem. In the meantime, focus on what you can do to change your current situation. Next time you feel like complaining, try looking for solutions before speaking up.
Displaying Negative Body Language
Simply exchanging pleasantries with your co-workers or passing an occasional complement may not draw people towards you if your body language undercuts your words. If you are wondering why your co-workers don’t warm up to say even though you try to say all the right things, it is time to rethink your body language. Most people are unaware that most of our interaction with coworkers is non-verbal and certain gestures, such as slouching, waving your hands around too much, leaning away from people, crossing your hands in front of your chest, and avoiding eye contact, can rub people the wrong way and make you come across as cold and unfriendly towards others. You should work on your posture and body language and try to make yourself more likeable.
Being too serious
People gravitate toward those who are passionate, but sometimes, passionate people become too absorbed in their passions and work and may come across as disinterested and boring. Likeable people know how to balance work with play. They can hold a conversation as well as they can come up with the next great business idea. If people are starting to find you too tedious at work, you need to capitalize on valuable social moments to make friends, while still getting things on time. Focus on having meaningful interactions with your coworkers, ask them questions about themselves or ask how they are doing, which shows people that they are just as important to them as their work is.
Being too opinionated
Open-minded people are likeable at work, and everywhere else. Keeping an open mind makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one likes to talk to someone with preconceived notions and judgment, who is unwilling to consider other people’s perspective. Especially when you are at work, having an open mind means access to new ideas and help. Instead of forming your own opinion about everything without looking at things from different perspectives, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes. You don’t have to condone their ideas; the idea is to quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick.